I Just Want to Know the Truth

"You can't handle the truth." Yes, I can.

Last revised: July 3, 2009.

Today I had lunch with a former colleague, a pretty knowledgeable person in world affairs.

I forgot that, until then, I had never revealed to her my interest in all the matters we speak of here.

So for the first time, there I was, talking about 9/11, the London bombings, HAARP, depleted uranium, chemtrails, pandemics….

And back came her responses, which should have been predictable to me: where is the evidence? How come it is not showing up in the “standard sources” (the human-rights reports, etc.)?

I went through that disorienting feeling where one discovers that one has stepped back among the ranks of the skeptical. I began to get cranky with myself and to feel the loss of friendships that were mine as long as I remained asleep.

And I had to ask myself, right down at rock bottom, what am I doing here? Why am I studying the words of Sirians? Why am I following the advice of invisible beings? What do I care about the Hong Kong Blondes or the Red/Green Ninjas?

And the answer came back to me loud and clear and woke me up again.

I just want to know the truth.

I have no necessary interest in any topic whatsoever and no necessary lack of interest. I don’t care if I get taken to the stars or get ground down into the mud.

I just want to know the truth.

The sights I see along the way do not attract me. I am as happy with the mundane as with the exotic. I don’t care whether I live or die.

I just want to know the truth.

And when I get lost in the details, or someone wants me to remember what happened on Lemuria or Dracos, or someone else holds out to me the wonders of post-Contact technology, I feel myself saying, I don’t really care about all that.

None of this is done for reasons of wonderment or enjoyment per se. (I’m not against them either.)

I just want to know the truth.

What is the truth of what was happening on Earth? What is the truth of our present situation? What is the relevance of all that I’ve been hearing to the truth? None? Then take it away from me.

I don’t care who says what. I don’t care what the future holds or doesn’t hold. What is the truth of all this? And the truth behind that? And the truth behind that?

The truth is all I want. The rest is all just window dressing.