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Deconstructing “Me,” Removing the Masks

October 13, 2010

(Steve is a former refugee adjudicator. The day prior to writing this article, he wrote one on refugees.)

What do a refugee and an ascender share? Both have chosen to leave home to seek something better.

Why has a refugee left home? To flee persecution. Home is a place in a country that the refugee leaves to seek another, free of serious discrimination, mistreatment, perhaps torture.

The ascender also chooses to leave home, but home to him or her is not a place, but a dimension. His or her suffering is existential.

Both leave home seeking something better, the refugee out of little choice, the ascender out of a great deal of it.

The ascender’s “persecutor” is himself or herself. At its most basic, that persecutor is a set of unexamined, habitual responses to situations. These responses are founded upon a view of life that sees “me” as separate from all others and my interest as being in competition with that of all others. These responses, this “me,” as it turns out, is a mask.

The home to which the ascender is going can be seen as a place of sorts, but it would be better imagined as a condition. That condition, I think could be best described as “universal love.” To reach that place, the ascender must leave behind all that is an obstacle to universal love. Primarily these may be thought of as his or her habits, his or her masks.

Habits of being, habits of thinking, habits of doing. Masks of all sorts.

I experience this “home” as a residue or precipitate that is hard to put in words. I’m aware of it but cannot describe it as having tone or color or taste or smell.  It is as oppressive as a wet blanket around the shoulders. It’s always with me. It’s the “home” I’m leaving.

Wilhelm Reich called it “character armoring.” Eckhart Tolle referred to it as the “pain body.” Encounter-group leaders described it as “residual muscular tension in the body.” Werner Erhard called it “records.” Hindus named it “vasanas.”  Many, many people have known it and called it by some name. I simply call it “habits,” “masks,” unexamined ways of being and behaving that are laid down by my separative mind to maintain its separative existence.

These are the primary obstacles to experiencing the universal love that I’m told is characteristic of the Fifth Dimension.

The way to this new land of universal love has no road map that I’m aware of. A compass will not help me. I don’t know what to take with me on this journey, even if I do know what to leave behind.

“Me” is what to leave behind – my habits, my masks. What I’m engaged in over this next period of time, from 10-10-10 onwards, is the deconstruction of “me,” the discarding of my habits, the dropping of my masks.

“Me” is the source of suffering the ascender has identified – the character armoring, the pain body, the stack of records, vasanas, and masks.

There is no place to get to on this journey. My masks dropped, universal love is naturally revealed. That is the mystery.

This period of reflection I’ve engaged in over the last 24 hours has identified for me the source of my suffering and has shown me what I need to do – deconstruct “me,” remove the mask. It hasn’t shown me how to do it. I may need assistance here and that assistance has been promised me by the sources we read.

But I’m now aware of the home I’m leaving. I’ve identified its experiential aspect in myself. I’m willing to leave it behind. Leaving it behind is the journey I set out on as an ascender.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. October 14, 2010 7:42 am

    Hello Annette, & others…smile You said:
    “fine changes in thought can make huge differences…..and these differences or imbalances are magnified tremendously in the physical body”…this is SO TRUE ! Loved what U wrote, Steve, and appreciated the sharing as well. I’d just like to add some thoughts (not directed to anyone in particular) smile
    You ARE what you THINK…
    or the “ego-response” would be : “you are what you think you”.
    It’s these “fine nuances” in the habitual-mind’s thinking-patterns that need to be exposed to the self, in order to heal them and heal the mind of certain influences.
    I’ve learned to look inward, and question myself on certain thoughts that occur. Some thoughts even seem to not be my own. Most of them are positive and some are negative and I challenge those too. I speak to the thoughts and say something like: “hey…wait a minute – what’s that about?” Another great question I ask myself, at certain times, when I “feel” off-balance is: “what am I creating?”.

  2. Eliz permalink
    October 14, 2010 12:34 am

    You puzzle me with calling where you are leaving as home. I call where I am headed as home. To me Earth has been a stopping place on the way home again. Enjoy the trip. With love.

  3. Annette Kohn-Lau permalink
    October 13, 2010 8:37 am

    I have had some powerful dreams and experiences with stones, stacking 13 stones, in the last few months. The lessons are coming much more intensely in the last few weeks. I have been told that my path to ascension is through entering and going up through these stacked stones, which represent the energies I have brought with me in this incarnation. Or, at least, those that I have to work with. In other words, (without writing a 20-page essay), I must climb inside myself and look deeply at what it is that keeps me “balanced” so that I may reach up. It is all about what is there at the core. I am being made keenly aware that fine changes in thought can make huge differences…..and these differences or imbalances are magnified tremendously in the physical body….hence, the LOUD symptoms that tell me NOW is the time to make sure I am 100 percent true to my own self.

  4. Cheleangel permalink
    October 13, 2010 6:16 am


    You’re de-light-full.


  5. October 13, 2010 5:18 am

    I’ve chosen to ditch the GPS! My new and improved Compass leading me into my new Heart Path Life is my Heart! Pretty cool stuff!

  6. Robin. permalink
    October 13, 2010 3:57 am

    Perhaps the irony here Steve, is that the ‘Ascender’ is actually GOING ‘Home’!

    This descended, temporary, illusionary, ‘back-yard shed’ that we have been squatting in, has been ‘home’ for quite long enough!

    Safe Journey Bro.. and keep up the good work!

  7. Tess permalink
    October 13, 2010 3:50 am

    Dear Steve

    Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your journey. This is also the question that besets me at present. How can I make the necessary changes? I am finding that very dramatic and emotionally challenging events are coming out of the blue, in such a way that I am forced to examine how I would have reacted to things in the past and how I react now. Whilst this is shocking and painful, the sheer synchronicity of it all is a great comfort. And it is absolutely fascinating that your emails resonate with my current experience on a regular basis. I consider you to be a valuable part of the help that is available to me – a sort of ascension wayshower. I would have liked some magical assistance that would make things change without much more effort on my part, but it’s coming at a very direct and practical level at present. I am adjusting my reactions and the stories that I tell myself about my trials and tribulations. It’s like seeing through eyes in the heart chakra.
    If you get there first, don’t forget to pull me up after you!

    • October 13, 2010 4:03 am

      If I get there first, I won’t forget, Tess.

      As to how to make the necessary changes, perhaps read the articles/pages on clearing “vasanas” in “Preparing for Ascension,” down the righthand column.




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